Grief & Anxiety After Graduation

As many new graduates end their academic time this season many young people are experiencing a new milestone in adulthood which is often complex and mixed emotions. There is the excitement of new possibilities, excitement of independence, but with these feelings lies an equally significant experience of grief.

Robin Burnam, a pre-licensed social worker who has 25 years of experience working with parents and young adults in academic success at the college level, passionately highlights this often-overlooked experience of growing up. "That period of life is exciting when we look forward to it for so long. Sometimes it's exciting because there are lots of opportunities and things on the table, but it's also a time of immense grief," she explains.

The transition to adulthood can include significant life changes such as graduating form high school or college, entering the workforce, and navigating changing and complex relationships. During these transitions, many young adults are confronted with a sense of loss. As Robin explains, "Grieving childhood that was carefree and fewer responsibilities. The structure that the adults in our lives created for us that helped us to feel safe and secure is fading as they go through this transition into adulthood."

This sense of grief is also often emphasized by societal expectations that celebrate newfound independence while not emphasizing the reality of the challenges young adults face. "Society gives us messages that these are exciting times and we should be happy about them and excited about them, and they’re utterly terrifying for most people," Robin observes. Many young adults feel pressured to “have it all figured out”, masking their fears and anxieties about entering a world that appears to be uncertain and especially in a challenging job and economic market.

Robin describes the spring semester of a senior's final year as "freak-out season," where the excitement of upcoming graduation can quickly give way to anxiety about future stability. She notes that students may feel like "an outlier" when experiencing these fears, leading them to think that everyone else is successfully navigating the transition while they struggle. Her advice to those in this demographic is simple yet insightful: "Being kind to themselves and understanding that what they're feeling and experiencing is normal. That this actually is a very normal part of this transition."

As Robin works with her clients, she encourages them to open up and share their feelings with peers, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles. "I encourage them to have these conversations with their peers about checking in. How is this going for you? How are you feeling?" This kind of co-regulation and mutual support can create a nurturing space for young adults facing similar challenges.

To navigate this complex season Robin emphasizes the importance of seeking support. Whether it is through therapy or simply talking with friends, understanding that these feelings are valid goes a long way toward making sense of the journey.

If you are a young adult feeling overwhelmed by the transition to adulthood, there is hope and understanding. You are not alone, and your feelings of grief are shared by many. Remember to be kind to yourself, embrace your experiences, and reach out for support when needed. It is possible to move forward authentically even through the complicated passage of grief. And who decided 18 (or any other number) was a “magic” number that everyone needs to have life figured out anyway?

Robin's insights serve as a important reminder that the transition to adulthood is not solely about gaining independence but also about carrying the weight of what is left behind. Acknowledging and addressing the grief associated with this transition can lead to deeper understanding and personal growth. So take the time to reflect, seek support, and process this transformative phase in your life.

If you'd like to work with Robin, schedule a free consultation here! If you're interested in working with one of our other therapists at Brazen, click here.

Virtual Support Groups

Robin also offers a virtual support group designed specifically for parents and caregivers of LGBTQIA+ youth:

ROOTED IN LOVE is an 8-week virtual support group for parents and caregivers of LGBTQIA+ youth, running Wednesdays from 7-8 PM. It's a space to process complex emotions, build practical advocacy skills, and connect with other parents navigating this journey alongside their kids.

This group is built around the idea that healing happens in community. Click here to learn more about joining Rooted in Love.